Once again I decided NOT to go see MW.  I basically told him he made me feel like maybe I was just a body to him and how little that appealed to me to not feel wanted, personally.  So he's made SOMETHING of an effort.  However, I teasingly asked him if he wanted me to go come over and give him a blowjob and he took me up on it.  I seriously considered it but when I suggested I ought to shave and shower before coming over he asked me "you're just going to give me a blowjob, right?"  Ah.  Nevermind.  I mean, sure I love a good BJ and there are occasional times when I'm happy to hand them out like candy... but they're fairly few and far between.  And especially lately I've learned that I really expect some kind of reciprocation, even not of the oral variety.  So nevermind.  I don't want to leave there feeling used or frustrated.  So I'll sit here quietly.
However, I went and bought us some broadband internet, finally.  Yes, we've escaped the caves.  The first thing I did was download the Paris Hilton sex tape.  So now I've seen it.  I know, I'm very far behind.  So I watched the 37 minute version of it.  And I must say... she's kind of boring.  You really don't get the feeling she's that into it.  He certainly is, though!  Watching them having sex I couldn't help but worry that I'm like she is in bed.  Probably enjoying the hell out of it but very quiet.  I've resolved to get a little more passionate.  I won't be mistaken for only kind of having a good time.
Which isn't to say I intend to suddenly and inexplicably become a screamer.  But I fully intend to make my pleasure more known.
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