Sunday, September 03, 2006

The rest of the night with Trian.

So Trian and I talked. A lot, while I was there. Among the things I discovered is that at least briefly his wife had a blog. Here. Oh. Umm. I asked him if she knew that he knew it existed. He told me she did. But later amended that when she found out he knew she deleted it. Which made me very quiet for a moment. Then he told me something she'd written and I had to point out that blogs are not gospel and we don't always mean some of the things we write.... But it's really hard to express that to someone who's not naturally a diary keeper. I considered mentioning my own but I really figure it's best not to arouse any curiosity in that department so I bit my tongue. Were he entirely cognizant of me at that moment (and not likely distracted by other thoughts) he probably could have figured it out based on reaction. And he's already come in contact with the name I used on this blog before. A quick search....

Anyway. Whatever.

So we talked. In the dark of his house, in front of the TV. At last he moved toward me. I knew what was coming. I was hard pressed to decide what to do. I really wasn't there for that. But... I kind of was. I mean, I was pretty sure it was coming and to pretend otherwise would be foolish. I just wasn't convinced that was what I really wanted from him but... then his lips were on mine.

This ranks right up there with one of the weirdest kisses I've ever experienced. Mark used to nibble at my lips frustrating the hell out of me. The other guy stuck his tongue in my mouth and didn't move. At all. Just tongue. Trian pressed his lips against mine and... didn't move. At all. nothing. I smiled against his lips feeling vaguely awkward. With no guidance I find myself unsure as to how to kiss back. For all I know he was waiting to see what I'd do, hoping to take guidance from me. Whatever the case, it was vaguely awkward. I took control and deepened the kiss.

Moments later I felt his hand on my breast. I found myself smiling against his mouth again, I let out a little laugh as I thought that's SO typically male. Go STRAIGHT for the tits. He pulled back and asked "what?" So I told him exactly that, with a small laugh in my voice. Then he asked "do you want to go upstairs?" I momentarily considered saying "no," still, thinking maybe it wasn't a good idea... but... so I said yes.

We went up the dark stairs into his dark bedroom. Another candle. I try to imagine what exactly he was thinking in his head as he lit the candle, You know, just in case. Or was he more assured than that? I looked around the darkened bedroom taking it in when he asked "did you want me to turn on the light?" I glanced up at the light and said "no" even as he flicked it on. Of course, I was looking right at it. I laughed and he laughed with me, "sorry, you were too slow with the 'no' " he told me. I told him about the last time I was with Whit and how he'd done something evilly similar.

I sat down on the bed then and he came back over to stand in front of me. His mouth found mine again. Shortly after we were both naked and I was pleasantly surprised by the size of his cock. I'd certainly been expecting something far less impressive. His fingers found their way to my clit and he began rubbing it gently. It felt nice. Better than I'd expected. I mostly ignored it, though, touching and playing with his body. He told me I smelled good. He told me I was very wet for him and he liked that. He asked me if I liked the way he was touching me and I nodded shyly, until his fingers found just the wrong spot. "Mmm... not there," I whispered. "Where?" he asked. I was quiet. "Tell me where," he asked again and I felt myself just completely freeze. "I... uh... don't know...." He didn't accept the answer, asking again, "it's okay, just tell me where." I wanted to tell him, I did. But I answered "I don't know. Really." Again. I never know. Not really. I mean, how do I teach a guy to make me cum?

This was the part that sticks in my head so strongly. Here was a man willing (and clearly able) to touch me however I wanted and I found myself unable to share that part of my self with him. I still find myself frustrated with my reaction. My complete lack of willingness to tell him forced me to change the focus. I moved back on the bed and had him join me there.

I watched him grab a condom, getting it ready. And I thought isn't that a bit soon? Luckily, he didn't put it on and I took him into my mouth after he climbed onto the bed. After I got him close a few times he asked if I wanted him inside me and I considered but realized how really close he was. And how much fucking I REALLY like. "I don't think that'd be fair to me," I finally said, confusing him. "I think I've gotten you close too many times," I explained. He nodded. Finally I asked him "...so... what if I don't want to swallow?" He told me he'd never really cared much one way or the other and I could use the bathroom behind him or he could get a tshirt. Or a towel. Or a tissue. I went back to what I was doing and when he came (an incredible orgasm, I might add) I swallowed.

Afterward he lay back for a while and relaxed, not reaching for me. "Basking," he told me. Finally he asked if I'd perhaps brought anything with me which he could use to satisfy me. I had not, and hadn't even considered the idea. And so I got none. Nothing. At all.

So we talked for a while, naked on the bed before eventually getting dressed and heading downstairs. Down there we talked a lot longer. And then I went home. As I left he gave me another chaste kiss and asked if he'd see me (at work) on Tuesday. I told him he would and haven't heard from him since.

Thus my irritation. Much as I think Trian is a nice guy (and often a door mat) I find myself irritated by the lack of manners when it comes to the post-nookie message. Or maybe that's just a "thing" with me. Especially when I got nothing out of it other than a long talk and a mouth full of cum...

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