Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Predator.

It used to be when I'd suggest husband find someone else to sleep with he'd sigh somewhat and say that he might try when he was back at his fighting weight. Or he'd tell me that it would be very difficult for him.

At any rate last night I finally asked him "so... are you EVER going to sleep with another woman?"

He was quiet for a half second before saying "probably not."

I had no response.

I figured his lack of interest in sex with me had more to do with familiarity than anything. Having slept with a few other people I discovered having sex with others made our sex life that much more enticing and interesting to me. I became more adventurous in bed. Not doing the same things with him I was doing with the others but embellishing on the ideas and on ideas that were brought up early in the marriage.

But now... I wonder. Does he have the same reasoning he had before (namely a feeling of unattractiveness and inconvenience) or is he just turning THAT asexual?

He's not approached me for the "one" that he owes me from the other day. The single time I approached him for it, I got turned down. I'm starting to feel like I raped him that day. Yeah, he liked it... but he didn't really WANT it. I feel more and more like a sexual predator in my own home.

I don't like that feeling.

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