I forgot.

I spent the better part of last night naked, on cam, with MP. I've officially seen him completely and totally naked and hard and jacking himself to oblivion. What I've rediscovered is that while it's fun to watch guys jacking on cam it's nowhere near as sexy to me as LISTENING to them masturbating. Or getting to be there in person. Actually, just listening may, in some ways, be sexier. But that's hardly the point.

So, now I know what this guy's dick looks like and I'll see him tomorrow and be expected to act completely normal. Greeeeeaaaaaaaaaaat. Not to mention that he knows what my most intimate pink parts look like.

I'm somewhat hopeful he won't torment me tomorrow. But I'll be almost disappointed if he doesn't.

On the other hand, it occurs to me that I'm not THAT super attracted to this guy and mostly find the fact that he's ready and willing to fuck me to be my interest. So I wonder what happens if and when he comes in at the same time as one of the guys I'm REALLY attracted to. I'm increasingly obsessed with Nils. Having him in the same room as MP might be a little weird as I drooled over Nils with MP possibly watching....

I've also decided that if Nils isn't kinky.. and kinky in a way that I can welcome I'd be terribly disappointed. I adore the way he looks at me, intense, searching, confident.

When I saw him the other day he said something about how cruel I was and "would you like me to take off my bulletproof vest so you can whip my back more directly?" And I nodded eagerly, thoughts in my head solely of him stripping. Oh, GOD yes. I suppose that was the moment when I connected him with kink and the idea of some sort of corporal punishment. He can take his frustrations out on my body. Sounds delicious....