Besides the fact that Martin is flirting with me again via text and acting like he wants to sleep with me again. I told husband "that'd be a REALLY bad idea because it really hurt when he told me no more...." Husband wasn't much help. He's still worried I'm planning on leaving him. Which is something I need to work on reassuring him about. But not right this very second cuz I'm upset with Martin right now. For tormenting me.
This was not part of the awesome day. Just a part.
The awesome part was that work was very very slow. Which was pleasant. And I thought for sure Nils would not be in. But he was!
He walked in and I was so excited. Immediately. "I'm SO glad to see you!" I gushed. We'd been gushing at customers all day because there were so few. But mostly I was REALLY thrilled that he was there. And I wanted him to know it. He came just as my co-worker was leaving. Perhaps planned? And instead of running into the store and back out quickly as he usually does he stopped to browse a little. He came to the counter about the time my coworker was leaving. Before he came up I told her "that's my future husband" as I'd been talking about him all day, calling him "my future husband." She looked over at him, for probably the first time noticing him and said "oh, I can see that." I'm not sure if she meant she could see him and I together or if she agreed that he's somewhat attractive.
Regardless, as she was leaving he came up to the counter and I rang him up. I asked him if he wanted his receipt and he didn't respond. I thought to myself "hmm... maybe I was slurring too much with my tongue piercing" so I repeated myself... slurring worse just to mock myself. "Why're you so mean?" he asked, teasing a little. "I was raised badly." "Were you?" "Yes. I really was. Awful childhood." That's what I get for having a conversation about my childhood the night before. I start thinking about it too much. Get too honest when answering questions. Fuck. "I'm sorry," he said. Or something like that. I shrugged. He stood there gazing at some newspaper article and then held it up to me to look at, "I used to work on those. When I was in the military." I stared blankly at the article trying hard to concentrate on what I was supposed to be looking at. And not at him. Some aircraft of some sort. I don't remember a damned thing about it.
"...should I know what that is?" I asked with an embarrassed laugh. He looked at me for a moment, "from the gulf war?" I thought for a second and said something like "... I used to have collectible cards from that war... with all the guys on it... Colin Powell, Normal Swarz-" "Yeah, all the big heads." "Yeah. I'm sure I had a card for that, too. But now I'll go home and look it up." "No, don't." he said.
Then he stared at me for a second even as I continued to gaze hungrily at him, trying hard not to look half as excited as I was. "What's that in your mouth?" I sat completely still, not responding. Ah, the moment I'd been waiting for. "Open your mouth," he said. I shook my head mutely. "Go like this" he said, demonstrating with his tongue. I pressed my lips together mutinous. "Just do it." So I did for about a second.
"Now, what's a nice, respectable girl like you doing with a-" he began. I shook my head, "who said I was respectable?!?" Of course the PLANNED response... the one I've been waiting to give ANYONE is "so I can give an even better blow job." But it just wasn't there for me.... Plus someone else was in the store. I could have let him do the thing with his tongue and said something like "no.. but you can do that as often as you'd like around me." But no... nothing smart. Just a sly smile.
We got to talking about what service my husband is in... where we're from... when we're going back...." And all I could think was "please, god don't let me have ruined my chances of fucking this guy just because I'm married." I'm tempted to tell him, "you realize my being married doesn't mean you're safe from me...." Or something equally suggestive.
About that time two other men he works with approached the counter and he conversed very briefly with them and left. We may have talked for less than five minutes. It was the longest conversation we've ever had. And I shook for at least an hour after that, feeling my pussy seeping.
Just before he left he made a comment about the magazine the other guy was buying. "Stuff" I think. Very sexual and wrapped in plastic. Nils commented on this just before leaving. I looked at the magazine and turned it over to look at the back. "You know, it really does look like a playboy news stand special," I commented, after Nils left. "How would you know what that looks like?" He asked. Now, I COULD have said "because we carry them." But I was in a mood. So looked at him for a second and finally said, "I have a few." "Hey, I'm not judging," he said quickly. I then added "because I used to draw a lot and that's actually where I learned to draw feet." I left it at that momentarily before also saying quietly "besides, they're kind of fun to look at." "What?" He said. I glanced up from what I was doing, "nothing." "No, seriously. What'd you say?!?" "besides, they're kind of fun to look at," I repeated. He looked at me for a second and said "You just totally made my night!" As I handed him his change.
So then I spent the next couple of hours thinking "damn that Nils for making me so freakin' goofy that I open my mouth and start talking to men I'm not even TRYING to fuck!" And then thinking "I saw him! I TALKED to him! He's so fucking HOT!"
I also found out his last name. And first initial. FINALLY. I also looked him over quite a lot. I adore his body, but it's not conventionally perfect. So here he is probably about 40, mildly overweight, hair thinning... and I just think he is the sexiest man in the world. None of these things which society calls flaws strike me as such. He is perhaps the first man I ever really looked at and thought "no, seriously... he's beautiful" even though he's not what hollywood calls beauty. I considered this for a few minutes and it occurred to me that it must be really flattering to have a young woman (maybe he doesn't know my age... maybe he thinks I'm older) who's quite pretty (or at least who's been called pretty lately) be completely smitten over him. He probably doesn't think of himself as irresistible... and yet that is absolutely what he is to me. If he kissed me I'd undoubtedly moan at the first press of his lips and melt into him, pulling him close, hard... wanting nothing more than to feel every inch of his hot, naked skin against my own.
Whether or not he's the kind of sexy, kinky bastard I'd like him to be is still up for debate. But the incredible physical attraction I feel toward him makes me think maybe it doesn't matter so much.
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