Want.

I was just thinking maybe at some point I should tell Nils that I want to say something to him completely off the record. Something he must not hold against me... and then really let him know how much I fucking want him. Not hold anything back. Just... say it. Lay it on the table. And really let him know what he does to me.

I envisioned the scenario. And the scenario had a certain sense of deja vu. Like I'd actually done it before. Or dreamed about it years ago. Were I the sort that believed in psychic stuff I'd be sure I'd had a premonition of this actually happening. Instead, I'll just have to believe I've considered this... maybe done it in a dream.

I want Nils. Crave him. He should know.