Cold.

It's way fucking cold out right now. I can tell because the ground is frosted. I opened the door to let the dogs out and did not enjoy the blast of cool air I got in return. It's mornings like these that I feel like crawling back into bed, snug under the covers and going back to sleep. Days when I want a warm body wrapped around me to return all the heat I lost getting out of bed in the first place.

Instead I get to go to work.

I have sore muscles. Less sore than they were even just last night, but sore none the less. Last night I whined and husband rubbed my back and arms for me a little. It felt good to be touched. He touched me some the other day, too. As we lay in bed having our "goodnight" talk before he went to sleep and I headed back downstairs. His hands wandered slowly over my body across my breasts and down between my legs to caress for a moment. I stretched out in front of him, spreading my legs a little to give him better access. He watched my face intently. I don't think my expression changed. I think I started talking about something. He stopped, then, and didn't reach for me again.

I'm not sure if that was his way of trying to initiate something or if he was merely trying to give me what it is I crave... in his half-assed way. As I've mentioned, I've totally given up on all thought that I will have him inside me again. If he wants me, he'll have to come to me completely and totally because I'm completely done going to him. And sometimes, even when I'm horny, I'm not sure I want him coming to me anymore. When he touched me like that the other night I probably would have happily gone along with anything he suggested. But I wasn't going to encourage things.

So then I guess the next question is... how many years of this am I going to put up with?

Seems pretty fucking cold inside the house, right now, too.